Monday, April 1, 2013

Lessons of love

My Grandma Drury ( my dads mother) was one of the most influential people in my life. She loved unconditionally and was an example of enduring to the end. She passed away when I was 20 and I miss her dearly.

Growing up I was a typical kid. I wanted her love and attention and she always gave it to me, but I never gave much back in return. There were days that she would sit and play UNO or gin with me all day and forget about the dishes or appointments. She made me feel like I was the only thing she wanted to concentrate on. She did this for me, my sisters and all my cousins. It was not until I grew up and had kids of my own that I fully understood how huge this was. There are many times I'm busy with life, the house or other demands placed on me and I put my kids off. There are also days when we do spend time together and even though it is enjoyable and they are the loves of my life you can only play so many rounds of capitalism. I remember one time she was sick and still took the time to drive me to the mall, while I thanked her and gave her my usual kiss goodbye I wish I could go back and really thank her. I mean she drove me to the mall while sitting on a doughnut! and all I gave back was a thank you!

One memory that has shaped who I am was watching me grandmother cry when I would ask her about Jesse. Jesse Moroni Drury the third ( I always loved the fanciness of his full name) was my dads brother, my grandmas oldest son. He died on a scouting trip in southern UT when he was 15, my dad was 2. He got separated from the group and they left him. This was before the days of cell phones and each car thought he was in the other and did not realize he was missing until they stopped a few hrs later. Search parties, authorities and family searched for him but it was not until a year later that a rancher found his remains under a tree. He succumbed to the heat and lack of water. I was always sad hearing the story and I hated to see my grandma cry but it was not until I had children of my own that I could understand my grandmothers grief. I cannot fully ever understand the pain she felt but I know how much I love my children and cannot even comprehend the thought of something happening to one of them. I wish I could see her again and put my arms around her and tell her I love her. To let her know she is the bravest, strongest, most courageous, lovely amazing person I have ever known. She pushed on through unimaginable loss and never let it make her bitter. She had amazing faith and love and served The Lord until her last days on this earth. She set an example for me of what it means to love, despite the heartache and loss she felt everyday. I love you grandma, thank you for the lessons you taught me, for always being there to talk, for singing to me, and loving more then I deserved!

So while Riley is on his 200 mile biking trip with his scout troop this week, I've been missing you more then ever and wish I could let you know how much you mean to me. You're in my thoughts, I love you grandma!

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