Good news and bad news, what do you want first?

Ok, Lets start with the good. Jeremy has been taken off the tour next month and will not be leaving for 4 months any more. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and the kids are so happy. Riley says it is the best birthday present and I feel the same way. Now for the bad... this came as a result of Lorenzo. He has been spiraling down hill for the last month or so and the doctor is talking about hospitalization again. We will not agree to it and are going to see another Doctor next week and hope for a new perspective on the whole situation. I could fill this page with horror stories about some of the things he has been doing lately but I am just too tired to go into it. Let me just say that he has been much worse the last few weeks then he has ever been. We are going to do another med change and are starting to taper him off one of the mood stabilizers he is currently taking. I have either been at the doctor or on the phone with him all week trying to figure out what to do. We all are exhausted and at the end of our ropes.

Jeremy went to his chain of command today to let them know the situation here at home and they decided it best to not send him. I think that the sr. chief was a little hard on Jeremy because they now have a bit of a scramble ahead of them to get everything squared away but his boss was very kind and understanding. It is too bad that they did not take our situation more seriously when Jeremy first brought it to their attention 6 months ago. It really makes me angry sometimes that people look at mental illness so differently then other medical problems. There is another guy out here who's son has a medical condition and they did not send him on this tour because of it, feeling that if something went wrong that he should be home. Jeremy did not get the same considerations when he first talked to them about Lorenzo. I do not think that people understand that this can be just as debilitating as other "real" medical or health problems and they choose to place judgment instead of offer support. I am at the doctors twice a week with Lorenzo plus the school meetings, he takes so much energy to manage that it leaves you feeling like you have nothing left to give. I ended up letting a couple of my piano students go because it was more then I could handle when Lorenzo was acting up and I was trying to teach them. I have these 2 other wonderful Children and I am trying to give them as much attention as I can but lately they have been put on the back burner, literally. Today as I was on the phone dealing with yet another Lorenzo problem Liam fell on the counter while helping me make pancakes and put his hand on the stove burner. I just feel like I am stretched to thin and poor Liam, his little hand is so sore.

It is such a blessing that Jeremy is not going to be going. We have been offering thanks to our Heavenly Father all day. Jeremy was a little concerned that he may have just ended any chance to further his career but his boss was great and besides, we always have said that our family will always be first and that the navy comes second even if that means we are not climbing the ladder as quickly as some. We'll keep you posted on Lorenzo. He and Riley are having their birthday party tomorrow and I want so much for him to be able to just have fun. It breaks my heart sometimes.