Friday, April 11, 2008

Good news and bad news, what do you want first?

Ok, Lets start with the good. Jeremy has been taken off the tour next month and will not be leaving for 4 months any more. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and the kids are so happy. Riley says it is the best birthday present and I feel the same way. Now for the bad... this came as a result of Lorenzo. He has been spiraling down hill for the last month or so and the doctor is talking about hospitalization again. We will not agree to it and are going to see another Doctor next week and hope for a new perspective on the whole situation. I could fill this page with horror stories about some of the things he has been doing lately but I am just too tired to go into it. Let me just say that he has been much worse the last few weeks then he has ever been. We are going to do another med change and are starting to taper him off one of the mood stabilizers he is currently taking. I have either been at the doctor or on the phone with him all week trying to figure out what to do. We all are exhausted and at the end of our ropes.

Jeremy went to his chain of command today to let them know the situation here at home and they decided it best to not send him. I think that the sr. chief was a little hard on Jeremy because they now have a bit of a scramble ahead of them to get everything squared away but his boss was very kind and understanding. It is too bad that they did not take our situation more seriously when Jeremy first brought it to their attention 6 months ago. It really makes me angry sometimes that people look at mental illness so differently then other medical problems. There is another guy out here who's son has a medical condition and they did not send him on this tour because of it, feeling that if something went wrong that he should be home. Jeremy did not get the same considerations when he first talked to them about Lorenzo. I do not think that people understand that this can be just as debilitating as other "real" medical or health problems and they choose to place judgment instead of offer support. I am at the doctors twice a week with Lorenzo plus the school meetings, he takes so much energy to manage that it leaves you feeling like you have nothing left to give. I ended up letting a couple of my piano students go because it was more then I could handle when Lorenzo was acting up and I was trying to teach them. I have these 2 other wonderful Children and I am trying to give them as much attention as I can but lately they have been put on the back burner, literally. Today as I was on the phone dealing with yet another Lorenzo problem Liam fell on the counter while helping me make pancakes and put his hand on the stove burner. I just feel like I am stretched to thin and poor Liam, his little hand is so sore.

It is such a blessing that Jeremy is not going to be going. We have been offering thanks to our Heavenly Father all day. Jeremy was a little concerned that he may have just ended any chance to further his career but his boss was great and besides, we always have said that our family will always be first and that the navy comes second even if that means we are not climbing the ladder as quickly as some. We'll keep you posted on Lorenzo. He and Riley are having their birthday party tomorrow and I want so much for him to be able to just have fun. It breaks my heart sometimes.

6 comments:

Holly said...

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is frustrating to have a mental illness...people think I can just make myself change and 'fix' it. I am glad his boss was understanding and I am glad he will be home with you.
We'll be keeping you all and especially Lorenzo in our thoughts and prayers.

flutietoot said...

Briana,
My heart just broke when I read what is going on in your life right now with Lorenzo. I'm happy that Jermey in not going on tour so he can be home. I actually read your post early this morning before I went to be with a friend of mine and her children. It wasn't until I was in the car with a few of her children that her oldest child said that his mom is "crazy" (This friend of mine suffers from a mental illness). I was so mad, but I held my piece but I did say "Your mom is NOT crazy and just because you can't "see" her mental illness it is real." So many times when someone is sick, ie the flu, a cold, cancer etc, etc, you know what the problem is and it is clearly visiable. But with mental illness (correct me if I'm wrong, Briana), everything may seem all right on the outside, but inside their is a battle going on, literally. This child really didn't have anything else to say, so I hope that some of what I said, sunk in.

Our prayers are with you guys. Hang in there and please let us know if we can help in any way on our end.

Love you guys!!

Janus

onedayatatime said...

Poor Lorenzo and everyone else. I am so sorry -- I thought he had been doing so well and was hoping the medication he was the "magic" one for him. I know what a toll it takes on the entire family and especially on the mom. I know that drained feeling all too well.

Was he able to have some fun at his birthday party?
Sending hugs and prayers your way.
Love, Cindy and Jonathan

Sheila said...

Bri, I'm so glad Jeremy isn't going. I've been so worried about that, too. I know how hard it is to have the dad gone, add on that the kids are hurting and don't know why daddy is gone from them. And truly, Mom can have it all together, and it's still hard on them. I'm just so glad he's staying home. I admire you guys so much on having the courage to put family first. David did that once in Japan when they told him they wanted him to stay after work for extra things to get done. He refused and said it was his only time of day with his kids. It's not easy, but it's the right thing. I wish we could all come out and be with you and help in any way. We pray for Lorenzo every night. Please call anytime day or night if you need to talk to someone on the phone other than a doctor!

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Lorenzo's struggles. It can be so hard for people to fully understand the impact of mental illness if they haven't ever dealt with it. It truly is a blessing that Jeremy will be able to stay home. You're all in my thoughts...

Briana Ward said...

Thanks everyone for all the support and concern. We are just taking things a day at a time here but it gives us a lot of comfort knowing we have such a great family. Thanks, we love you!